Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
