k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
