You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We had to coat check the pizza.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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