Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
