Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
