he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
