I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
