chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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