Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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