woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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