when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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