i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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