You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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