I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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