no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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