Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
