I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My dick has a subreddit
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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