You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
