He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
