She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
