How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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