Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Semen is not good for contacts.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
