I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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