I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
