The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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