Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
