Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
