I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just cropdusted the office
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
