Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
