I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
