I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
