just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
