My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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