I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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