Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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