He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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