She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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