Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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