How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize