More tranny stories later!
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
