I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
