Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
