The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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