she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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