I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
