please come you make the beer taste better
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
