i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
