highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
