Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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