you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Randomize
