why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
God I need to hump something, right now.
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