Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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