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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.

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• (658): View more from

  Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Life is too short to have fake orgasms.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  foreskin is a definite game changer

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday

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• (210): View more from Texas

  "But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  We have your weave and dirt in our room.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously

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• (253): View more from Washington

  We just fucked each other sober. #goteam

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