It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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