marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
