this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
