she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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