Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
