Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
