I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It's blow job season.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
