Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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