hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My ATM looks so different sober.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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