i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
