ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
