The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
